Thank you for finding your way to my new blog.
I’m a part-time solicitor (currently on maternity leave with my second baby), amateur photographer in training and a Very Anxious Mummy. I live in Yorkshire with my Husband, 4 year old Son and 9 month old Daughter.
I’m new to blogging, so please bear with me. I have started this blog to share my family’s experience of life with an Anxious Mum.
I am a life-long anxiety sufferer, but things were at their worst following the birth of my Son in 2013. My anxiety became all-encompassing. I was unable to function properly. I wasn’t sleeping, I was barely eating as I felt constantly nauseous and I couldn’t cope with normal everyday situations. I had completely lost myself.
I knew from the moment my Son was born that something wasn’t quite right, but it took me a long time to admit that I needed help. My symptoms became gradually worse and worse over the space of 10 months until one day I started to feel that maybe my family would be better off without me. For the first time in my life, suicide crossed my mind.
Luckily, I came to my senses enough to realise that I wasn’t going to get through this on my own and needed help. My doctor referred me for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It was a long road, and took a lot of effort, but I eventually started to feel a little like myself again.
I still suffer quite severely with anxiety, but I have learnt that it passes. The severity of my symptoms varies wildly, from day to day, week to week and month to month. I can go weeks without an attack, or have a month where I suffer symptoms every day.
I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be completely my old self again. I have accepted that I will suffer with anxiety for the rest of my life, but I am determined not to let it affect my family or stop me enjoying my time with them.
It was only at the beginning of 2015 that I felt stable enough in myself to try for the second baby my Husband and I desperately wanted. We had a beautiful baby girl in November 2015.
My Daughter is now 9 months old. Initially everything was great, but recently I have become very aware that my anxiety is becoming gradually worse again. I’m at that crucial point where I know I have to do something about it, or it will spiral out of control again. That is one of the reasons I have started this blog. I’m hoping it will give me something outside my everyday family life to focus on and help ‘ground me’ before I lose control of my symptoms again. I’m also hoping that it will become a place where other anxious mums can find some important reassurance.
– A Very Anxious Mummy